Saturday, March 26, 2005

A beginners guide, part 1

Welcome to COG studies 101. We begin with a reading lesson. Please translate the following passage:

When GTA and RLD left to create CGI, they left behind not only HWA and the WCG, but the media promotional tools, the PT, GN and television program. AC had provided a pool of talent and advice GTA could call on, but now it was gone, as was the AICF. In an initial frenzy Ted put together TCW, and harnessed the talents of CWC, AJP and DLA. He then sent out feelers to CG7 and even featured in the BA.


If you know exactly what that was all about, congratuations, you are hereby granted an honorary doctorate in COGism. If you get the general picture, but are hazy on a couple of details, you get the Masters.

Every sub-culture has its own language, and COGism sure fits the picture. That can make it difficult for outsiders to crack the code. But maybe that first sample was a bit dated. Let's try something more contemporary and shoot for the Bachelors degree... Multiple choice anyone?

The term "PT" stands for
(1) The Philadelphia Trumpet
(2) The Painful Truth
(3) The Plain Truth
(4) All of the above
(5) 2 & 3
(6) I give up

The correct answer is, of course, (6)

But before anyone runs off screaming into the night, here's the first instalment of a helpful glossary.

AC - Ambassador College
AICF - Ambassador International Cultural Foundation
AJP - Albert J. Portune, former business manager and leading evangelist in WCG
BA - The Bible Advocate, magazine produced by CG7
CEM - Christian Educational Ministries
CG7 - Church of God (Seventh Day) based in Denver. Also called COG7
CGI - Church of God, International. Founded by GTA
DLA - David L. Antion, another top minister who separated in the late 70s, and brother in law to GTA.
GTA - Garner Ted Armstrong, deposed son of HWA
CWC - C. Wayne Cole, once a top minister in WCG
GN - The Good News, a member publication for WCG members (out of print), but also a cloned outreach magazine published by the UCG (in print)
HWA - Herbert W. Armstrong
ICG - Intercontinental Church of God. GTA's second splinter after he was turfed out of CGI
PT - The Plain Truth, but also the Painful Truth
RLD - Ronald L. Dart, longtime associate of GTA and currently running CEM
TCW - GTA's version of the PT, originally a glossy magazine published by CGI, now a cheap tabloid produced by ICG
UCG - United Church of God. More properly known as UCGia
UCGia - United Church of God, an International Association
WCG - Worldwide Church of God, the original Armstrong gulag

See: easy!

Next time I'll introduce you to the "big 4" COG denominations.

Till then...

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